Building Your Family using a Donor
The decision in choosing a sperm or egg donor is an extraordinary one. It is emotional. It can be confusing at times. Yet, there is hope and help in assisting you on this unique and special journey.
Be diligent. It is important to recognize that a donor's family history and some of their traits will be passed on to your child. Medical considerations are crucial in selecting an egg or sperm donor. When considering these details, seek help and guidance from appropriate genetic counselors, mental health counselors and medical counselors as you look at potential donors.
Referring to reputable seasoned experts in the reproductive medicine field is important so you know you can trust the information being given.
Consider these five steps to help you make this extraordinary and emotional decision.
Psychological Screening - Refer to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s (ASRM’s) guidelines for psychological screening of donors that should be performed by a qualified therapist. Psychological interviews and tests are important for many reasons as they yield results that give you more information about the physical and mental health of the donor as well as their background.
Replicated Risks - Check donor’s genetic health factors and risks with genetically linked partner. Fertility clinics can help provide genetic consultation to help determine if there are similar or significant health problems between the donor and the genetically linked parent.
Undesirable Characteristics - When selecting a donor, choose a donor whose family traits are desirable to you and your partner. Technically, three generations of information will give you the best chance of understanding which characteristics can be inherited. Two generations is acceptable too. It’s ok to choose a donor who has family traits that are desirable to you.
Open vs Closed Donors - Decide if contact, even in the future, is important to you and your partner and consider what your child might want. The world of donor conception is changing and there is a trend towards open donor relationships. Think about how you would feel in ten to fifteen years when you want medical information for your child, or your child is asking questions about their origins.
Everything Else is Gravy - Give yourself emotional permission to select a donor who has desirable traits or characteristics that you can feel good about for your child. Once you have gone through the first four steps, consider what characteristics you would like for your child.
From Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception